


Charlie Says He's Sorry

by notastranger



Series: The Adventures of Charlie and Scientist [5]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 01:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2674184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notastranger/pseuds/notastranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie runs into an ex while at a party with Scientist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charlie Says He's Sorry

The university gala was not strictly a black-tie affair, but Charlie insisted that he and Scientist wear tuxedos — Scientist because he was one of the recipients of the prestigious teaching award the gala was in honor of, and himself because he took any opportunity to wear one.

He had to listen to a long, boring speech by the university’s president, but after that it was champagne in skinny glasses and trays of bite-sized treats while various colleagues and hoity-toity philanthropists (he finally learned that word!) approached Scientist every so often to offer their congratulations. Scientist had a proud little smile on his face and Charlie couldn’t be happier for him. 

“What are _you_ doing here?”

Charlie turned around and found himself face-to-face with Ruby Taft. The appetizer he had just eaten turned to ash in his mouth. “Um… hi, Ruby,” he said after a nervous swallow.

Ruby narrowed her eyes — she looked furious, and considering what Charlie had done to her the last time they were together — at a similar event, no less — he didn’t blame her.

He still _really_ wanted to run away, though.

“You _bastard_ ,” Ruby hissed, her upbringing in polite society probably the only thing keeping her from shouting. “Do I need to call security?”

“Excuse me,” Scientist’s voice cut in coolly. He put a protective hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Is there a problem?” 

Ruby’s fiery glare remained fixed on Charlie. “The _problem_ is that this lying piece of trash somehow wormed his way into this event. What did you do, Charlie? Pretend to be rich again? Or did you sneak in through the garbage chute?”

Scientist frowned. “I hardly think that is necessary, Ms—“

“Ruby Taft,” She interrupted. “From TaftCo Enterprises, the company that sponsored your grant, Professor.”

“I invited Mr. Kelly to this event, Ms Taft. He is not under here under false pretense, and sponsor or no, you have no right to insult him.” Any other day, Charlie would delight in Scientist defending his honor, but now the words just made his gut twist painfully.

Ruby raised a perfectly sculpted brow. “Oh? I have no right? Not even after he pretended to love me just so he could make some other woman jealous?”

Scientist blinked and looked at Charlie; Charlie kept his gaze on the ground.

“Or how about that he revealed this plan to me at a major corporate event?” Ruby continued angrily. “That he called me stupid, and a slut? That he insulted me in front of my own family?”

“Did you do that?” Scientist asked, dumbfounded.

“That is a thing that happened,” Charlie answered. He hazarded a look up; Ruby had tears in her eyes, and somehow that made things feel a million times worse.

Ruby delicately wiped at the corners of her eyes. “So color me surprised that a man of such character would be at an event like this. Congratulations on your award, Professor, but I’d be more careful about what kind of company you keep.” Then, with one last look of disgust at Charlie, she turned and walked away.

“Sorry,” Charlie whispered to Scientist, who had removed his hand from Charlie’s shoulder.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Scientist murmured disappointedly.

Charlie watched Ruby disappear out a side exit. “You’re right,” he said with sudden determination.

Scientist made a stuttered sound of protest, but it was too late; Charlie ran out the door.

~*~

Charlie waited outside the ladies room until Ruby emerged, dry-eyed. “What the hell do you want?” She demanded, startled, her hands clenching into fists.

“I wanted to say I was sorry,” Charlie answered, hands raised in supplication.

“Sorry isn’t good enough!” Ruby snapped, voice louder now that they were alone. “You didn’t just hurt my feelings, you _humiliated_ me.” 

“I wasn’t thinking about your feelings,” Charlie admitted. “I figured you’d just go on a fancy vacation and forget about what I said. But I am sorry!”

“You _asshole_ ,” she seethed through clenched teeth. “If there was some way I could make you suffer for what you did to me— ugh! I wish your friend had never invited you!”

Charlie’s eyes widened in alarm. “Wait, wait — Ruby, look. If you want to get revenge, take it out on me, okay? But not him!”

Ruby’s rage abated just enough for her to look confused. “What?”

Charlie dropped his arms and shut his eyes. “Here, go ahead, hit me. Bash me like a rat, do whatever you want! But please don’t take my husband’s award away.”

“He’s your _husband_?”

Charlie opened his eyes; Ruby didn’t look like she was about to hit him, so he got his wallet out of his pocket and showed her the picture inside — his favorite one of him and Scientist, taken on the streets of London with Big Ben in the background, both of them smiling and holding hands. “We got married six months ago, this is from our honeymoon.”

Ruby looked at the picture for several seconds, then the ring on Charlie’s finger. “You’re gay?” She asked quietly, as if trying to work out a puzzle.

“For him,” Charlie answered. Ruby gave him a weird look and he cleared his throat. “I mean, yeah, I’m gay. Super gay. The gayest.”

Ruby frowned warily. “What about the waitress then?”

Charlie grimaced. “Uh… oh! She was my beard. Yeah. Because I didn’t want anyone to know I was gay.”

Ruby’s expression softened slightly. “It still really hurts what you said to me,” she murmured unhappily. “But even if I really tried to get revenge, I wouldn’t do it by taking away your husband’s award.”

Charlie immediately relaxed. “Oh, man, thank you. Thank you so much. And I really am sorry. I was really messed up before I met Doc, I did a lot of awful shit without thinking about if I was hurting other people or not. You don’t have to forgive me, but I really hope you’re happy and that you meet someone who treats you a million times better than I did.”

Ruby lifted up her hand, showing off an engagement ring with the biggest diamond Charlie has ever seen in his life. “Don’t worry, I have,” she said with a small smile.

Charlie beamed. “That’s great! I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks.” Ruby looked towards the door, then back at Charlie. “Would you really have let me hit you?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” Charlie answered honestly.

“Okay.” She smiled again and closed the distance between them.

The last thing he remembered was Ruby grabbing him by the shoulders and kneeing him in the groin.

~*~

“You’re lucky they had leftover ice at the bar,” Scientist said as he tenderly brushed the hair back from Charlie’s forehead. “And a plastic bag to put it in.”

Charlie whined wordlessly, trying to make himself more comfortable on the bench just outside the ballroom, ice pack pressed against his junk.

“You deserved it, you know,” Scientist added conversationally.

“I know.”

“You said some horrible things to that poor girl.”

“I _know_ , goddammit.” Charlie gingerly adjusted the ice pack, shaking the cold out of one of his hands. “And I’m sorry I fucked up your night.”

“Nonsense.” Scientist pressed a kiss to the top of Charlie’s head. “We had a delightful time and your screaming in pain gave me an excellent excuse to break off a conversation with an incredibly dull member of the award committee.” 

Charlie smiled faintly despite the painful throbbing between his legs.

“Anyway, the night is still young. Let’s say we go home, get out of these penguin suits, and watch a movie.”

“Sounds awesome,” Charlie smiled. “Let’s go.” He started to get up, then collapsed back onto the bench, whimpering. “In a little while.”

Scientist patted his knee. “I’ll get more ice.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure anyone who is a fan of Charlie Kelly is at least a little bothered by how absolutely devious and cruel he is in "Charlie and Dee Find Love". This is my way of resolving my own cognitive dissonance.


End file.
